Can't the world just stop spinning for five seconds and let me stand still and catch my breath. It's hard to work through a day that seems to crumble down about you the minute you smile up at the sun. The tears fall but it gets you know where it just makes those standing about you pity and pass judgement with stares that make your skin crawl as you squirm under them.
I use to think that I was the only one that felt horrible aching pains. That this inner suffering was something I did alone, but we all go through really ****ty things some time in our lives. Being in High school I always felt like ****, and now that I'm in college I'm happy but I still have horribly crappy days, weeks and months. Sometimes we can't stop horrible **** like this, who we have in our lives, who we fall in love with, or how things will happen. But for me, what helps to get through really ****ty days is getting as far away from myself as possible by doing some sort of hard work to occupy my mind. Staying on the internet just makes me feel like ****. Sometimes I run to my grandmother's farm for a few days which has no internet, cable or cellphone service. But mostly I'm just letting you know you aren't alone. People are there for you even if you feel like no one is around to rescue you, and finding healthy ways to push away the pain is the best thing you can do for yourself. I hope you feel better soon :)
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*Clan·des·tine (kln-ds'tn) adj. Kept or done in secret, often in order to conceal an illicit or improper purpose.
Across vast oceans, her master will reach her, To teach her delights, no mortals possess. She will enter my world, and discover its splendor, Then completely surrender, to my tender caress.
I've done pretty good so far, starting playing more games and talking to more people here at college, I'm getting my car here which will definitely kill some of my problems.
It doesn't help when your ride ditches you so you miss extremely important classes that you can't miss mroe then like two or you fail for the semester -_-" so thankfully i'm getting the car thing situated and she wont make me miss a class again.
Well she knows the importance were in the same damn class but she's changed since I first met her and I think she's doing it intentionally, oh your leaving early for class? Thentext me and let me know I'm not a mind reader for the love of god, you need to communicate things with me